The Fear Without Threat: Looking Beneath a Phobia

About creepy-crawlies

Aurora had a phobia of earthworms, slugs and snails; animals she collectively called “creepy crawlies.”

She avoided wet pavements because creepy crawlies might emerge after rain and worried they could enter her home on shoes or a dog’s paws. When her young son explored outside, she anxiously watched what he touched.

One day, her son found an earthworm and put it near his mouth. Aurora flicked it from his hands and cleaned him. Afterwards, she could not tolerate him coming near her, even though she knew the earthworm was gone. There was now an earthworm somewhere inside her house, and she felt unable to deal with it. She closed the doors and waited for somebody else to take care of it.

Aurora described her fear as visceral and irrational. She wanted it to change, particularly because she did not want her children to learn the same reaction from her.

What was beneath the fear?

When I asked Aurora what threat the creepy crawlies posed to her, she struggled to find an answer.

“They can’t hurt me,” she acknowledged.

Aurora recalled an experience from childhood when she discovered a slug hanging from her finger. It felt stuck, did not come off immediately and left her horrified.

Although this was the only instance she could remember a creepy crawly being stuck to her, the expectation appeared to have generalised. She feared that creepy crawlies might get onto her body, stick to her skin and be difficult to remove.

Aurora knew intellectually that they could be flicked off and any residue washed away. What remained was a powerful dislike of their sticky, slimy texture and a sense of helplessness about what she would do if one touched her.

Making the creepy crawlies make sense

Aurora also struggled to make sense of creepy crawlies. Their blob-like bodies appeared to have no limbs, face or recognisable expression. Unlike animals whose movements and intentions she could interpret, they felt alien and unpredictable.

We explored what these creatures were and their purpose. Earthworms help break down organic matter, returning nutrients to the soil and supporting plant growth. Other creepy crawlies form part of the food chain.

Aurora could now begin to imagine them not as threatening, faceless blobs, but as small living creatures trying to survive.

They were beginning to make more sense.

Who really had the power?

An earthworm was tiny compared with Aurora. It could not chase or overpower her.

Aurora was much bigger and stronger. She had hands, tools and the ability to choose her response. She could use a cup, paper or tissues to remove a creepy crawly without touching it.

This became an important reframe: Aurora had far more power over the creepy crawlies than they had over her. The fear made her feel helpless, but she was not helpless.

Becoming the director of the movie

In our next session, we used the Movie Rewind pattern.

Aurora imagined a slug on her hand: brown, shiny and wet, leaving a cold trail. She then stepped out of the experience and watched herself on a cinema screen. From there, she floated into the projection booth, where she felt safe and operated the controls.

She changed the image from colour to black and white, adjusted its brightness, moved it farther away and altered the slug’s imagined temperature and weight. She watched herself flick it off and wipe her hand.

Finally, she repeatedly ran the short movie forwards and backwards until the sequence took only a second.

When Aurora returned to the original image, the distress was no longer there. The slug had become “just another thing.” She did not need to like creepy crawlies. She needed to remain calm enough to respond.

When the Change Became Part of Everyday Life

Following the sessions, Aurora stopped automatically scanning the ground for earthworms. She walked along wet paths without using her phone torch to search for them and felt calmer while her son explored sand and soil.

Then another earthworm appeared inside her home.

This time, Aurora stayed calm and pragmatic. She approached it, picked it up with tissues and disposed of it herself.

“I never thought I could change that about myself,” she reflected. “I thought I would always have that fear.”

Reflection

After reading through this article, I will invite you to pause and reflect.

Do you have a fear that you consider irrational?

• What triggers the fear?

• What happens in your body when the fear arises?

• What threat do you believe the trigger poses?

• What meanings or assumptions are you giving to it?

• Is there another way you could understand or frame the trigger?

Sometimes “that’s just me” traps us in an image about ourselves. Thankfully through meta-coaching, one can get out of this trap and become the version of themselves that they want to be.

If you recognised yourself in this blog, click the Let’s Talk button on the top right to book a free 20-minute conversation and together we can explore what may be keeping you stuck, and see whether coaching is the right support for you.

Details have been changed or generalised to protect the client’s privacy. This experience is shared with her permission.